Love doctor


Secreted inside a vintage Sprite caravan is actress Alison Goldie’s alter ego Dr Penelope Counterpane, ready to give advice on all matters of the heart – flirting tips, confidence building and a Quick-Fix Problem-Nix (one-minute wisdom for those in a hurry).

Is your relationship wobbly? Has your passion become flaccid? Would your lover rather pick their nose than lick your toes? Dr Penelope Counterpane is an experienced expert, trained at the International School or Erotic Arts, and has had over 53 lovers and many marriages. Consultations for singles or couples, but she draws the line at a ménage a trois!

The doctor will see you now…